


Flee and Get Pailed

by Trombonesonmars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternative Xeno, Camping, F/M, Hide and Seek, Knotting, Outdoor Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Short Karkat, Tall Nepeta, poky things in sensitive parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:45:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1880412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trombonesonmars/pseuds/Trombonesonmars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nepeta convinces everyone to play a rousing game of Alternian-flavored hide-and-go-seek while out on a campong trip, but really she has an ulterior motive; she found herself an excuse to chase down a certain friendleader and get some one-on-one time in the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flee and Get Pailed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [krazieLeylines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/gifts).



> I really love dom Nepeta, and her being fascinated with Karkat's nook. Just no tentacles, but otherwise feel free to make them as biologically alien as you please...

You are the huntress. She is you. She is also Nepeta Leijon, who is having a supurr fun time on her furst camping trip ever!

 

Apparently the humans appreciate the wilds and visit them for fun sometimes, unlike most boring trolls that think that is a tearrnibble idea. It probably helped that their old world wasn’t populated by the undead and oversized lusii out to hunt dinner for their charges, but the important part is the new world your teams got for winning the game is just as mostly-undeadly as the humans’ old one and people will finally play with you outside!

 

Purrticularly, you finally, Finally, FINALLY convinced some of your fureinds to play Flee and go Cull  with you. Your cooler, nicer friends did anyway. Plus Equius as self-appointed “chaperone.” He doesn’t have the stomach for today’s game though, so he is sitting it out at the campsite being disapphooving  of the whole thing.

 

Which is all the better, because you have ulterior motives for volunteering as Culler ; though you’re supposed to be chasing efurrybody equally, you have your sights on the most relicktant of purrticipants—Karkitty.

 

It had taken some work to convince him to join in the fun, but after a meeting with the humans it was decided to modify the game by taking out the combat portion of the game, making it more similar to the human game of “sharks and minnows.” This is a sacrifice you were more than happy to make, as it purromised to lure in the finest troll on Alterniearthus (in your pawfessional opinion.)

 

You finish counting to one hundred with your eyes closed as your friends scatter to all corners of the forest. Peeking out between your fingers, you see an empty forest clearing. Time to go then. Shedding your coat, hat and tail, you stretch your back out with a pop and prepare to purropurrly seek out your first, most tempting of minnows.

 

Hunching down so that your perspective is that of the significantly shorter troll, you take a deep whiff of the forest air, but can’t pick Karkat’s specific scent out from the general  eau de troll  mingling with the odd breeze carrying bizarre human BO. Oh well, you aren’t a one-trick pony (ehehe Equius would be proud) so you search for visual cues. 

And oh, look! There are his shoe prints that you may or may not have memorized the pattern of last night when you followed him on the way to his tent.

 

You bend down to touch your claw to the deep imprints he left, tracing them fondly, seeing how much smaller they are compared to your own. So cute! The shoeprints show scuffing along the ball of his foot, making it look like he pivoted about to search for a route. And yep, there they go arrowing straight into the tall ferns that you know from scoping out the area earlier lead to a nearby stream. The delicate whorls of leaves are crushed down near the bottom and tousled about, giving off the fresh, sweet scent of broken stems.

 

Licking your lips, you stalk silently towards the ferns and lick at the cleft of your lip, visualizing your prey. Oh yes, he’s going down.

 

***

It only takes ten minutes or so of sneaking through the ferns and over increasingly soft, wet dirt until you catch the scent you’ve been sniffing for. Your senses, trained by innumerable hunts on the old Alternia, tell you it’s sweaty and a bit sour from the lactic acid of exertion, hinting at his strength flagging. Your heartbeat, reasonably paced up until this point, speeds up.

 

Now, if you were a smallish, wide-ish troll who was tired and who had an overblown sense of self-confidence precisely in the skills he lacked, wheeeere would you hide?

 

You sniff around the area and catch the dented pattern of river pebbles pressed down into gritty sand that are suspiciously foot-sized. And they lead… straight to a little burrow several yards away with fresh gouges on the entrance by the side of the bank. Gee, you wonder where he got off to.

 

Grinning, you slip out of your shoes and socks to balance delicately on your toes, hopping quietly over the boulders dotting the sand, figuring the crunch in the sand would likely be made inaudible by the babbling of the brook. You are the Earth “ninja” on the way to her next mark. You are she.

 

Karkat: Be Caught Unawares ==>

 

By what? You are totally safe in your dark, little hiding spot, busy feeling ridiculous playing a simple game for wigglers. Also playing Confection Crash on your phone. Which is fucking rigged, you swear to the new universe’s Frog. One of the in-game candy incendiary devices explodes and you swear perhaps more loudly than you intended.

 

And you’ve run out of lives too. Flipping off your phone as it plays the sad, stumbling song of a failed game, you black out the screen and rest your head on your arms. It’s tiny as hell in your hiding spot, and without the distraction of mind-numbingly stupid games you are becoming acutely aware of what a shitty idea hiding in this hole was. The the dirt and your woolen sweater are working together to make you an itchy, sweaty mess, and your legs went completely numb at some point and OH SHIT they’re waking up and it hurts like hell.

 

Groaning, you scoot forward using your elbows and lob your phone outside of the entrance of the burrow where you won’t crush it getting out. Your horns brush the top of the tunnel and leave a spine-crawling tingle letting you know just how trapped you are in here causing you to feel suddenly way more claustrophobic than the moment before.

 

Digging your claws into the earth, you pull yourself out, scrabbling on the stones just outside of it, your legs mostly useless for anything besides flopping unhelpfully behind you. Your head finally out in the open, you breathe in the cool, somewhat misty air swirling off of the river.

 

You, no, your  past self must have been an idiot to hide in such a shitty den no doubt abandoned by nut-creatures who realized that the den was too shitty for even them and went on to bigger and better shitty holes in the ground. Present you finds himself arching his back, trying to wiggle out of there, making it simultaneously pop out the kinks it had been accumulating and getting even more covered in dirt. A few ungraceful seconds later you are over half-way out when you hear something over the gurgle of the stream that you can’t quite place.

 

Instinctually you tense up, feeling like you’re being watched from behind, almost like…

 

“Gotcha, Karkitty!” A loud, high-pitched voice rings out and you don’t have a chance to even decide where to go when you feel large, long-clawed hands grab you under your armpits. You yelp and swing your head around to see what the fuck Nepeta is doing, but she is crouched down on top of you (you can feel her posterior pushing down a bit on the small of your back) and you can’t see much of her other than her strong gray hands with her wickedly sharp claws curled all the way over your biceps.

 

“Get off me you hulking cat beast or I will fucking go back in there and drag you through the dirt with me!”

 

She just giggles at that and bumps the back of your head with a horn. “As lovely as that sounds, I don’t think you can drag me anywhere any more than I can fit in the hole, silly. Come on, I clawt you so you’re on the cullers’ team meow. “

 

Her feet shuffle forward on either side of you as she starts awkwardly dragging you out of your not-so-clever hiding spot. You just *hope* she doesn’t have any other teammates/subordinators somewhere nearby watching you. She may be right about your nonexistent chances of escape, but you feel a duty to be contrary; you do your best to dig your still-mostly-numb toes into the dirt and scratch at her hands with your pathetically blunted claws. “I assure you, Nepeta, that I have no intention whatsoever in joining hunting down other assholes by playing your inane game.”

 

She stops for a second. “But Karkat, that’s the  game ! You said you’d purrlay, and hunting is the fun part. Wimping out is cheating!”

 

You almost bite out that cheating and quitting aren’t the same thing, but her voice sounds legitimately hurt. Oh god DAMN it. Giving up, you slump in her grasp. “FINE Nepeta, I’ll pretend-hunt with you, but I can guarantee you I won’t be able to keep up.”

 

The sound of delighted squealing accompanies a short, painful hug around your rib cage, and you quickly find yourself dragged out of the hole and pulled upright on legs tingling so bad the feel like they’re being stabbed with knives by several universes’ worth of Jack Noirs.

Attempting to regain some semblance of dignity, you twist your head back to look at her, stopped short by bumping into her shoulder. “All right already, let me go so we get this feral-wiggler hunting game over with.”

 

Nepeta nods enthusiastically, brushing cheek against your hair. “Sure thing! It’ll be fun, I pawmise.”

 

True to her word, Nepeta lets you out of her rib-cracking bear hug and turns you around, grinning like the biggest, most muscular grub at feeding time. You might as well get this over with, so you put out a foot to follow her, but something feels off…

 

You slip on the goddamn rocks like a moron because your legs are still mostly asleep. Nobody yelps attractively, but the noise you make when your ass splashes into the ice-cold stream water is downright embarrassing. “What the hell, Nepeta!”

 

Nepeta scrambles to get you out of the water, spewing what you think might be cat-punnified cursed words, but you’re too busy flailing to listen, and despite the relative shallowness of the stream, you end up getting drenched everywhere from your legs to your neck in water of questionable cleanliness. After an interminable length of unleaderly behavior, you are dragged all the way out of the water and onto the relatively dry dirt a little farther away from it than your hiding spot was.

 

It takes you a minute to realize it, but Nepeta is patting at you with a horrified look on her face. “Oh my god. Karkat, I’m so sorry, I never meant to…”

 

And now it looks like she’s going to cry, withdrawing her hand and curling her long limbs up close to herself, making herself into a large ball of miserable, wet troll, looking more like a kicked puppy than anything that might fit better with her feline idiom. You breathe deeply through your nose, hold a breath, and then let it out, calming yourself. “No, it’s okay, Nepeta. I didn’t mean to snap at you like an asshole who can’t own up to when he falls on his own fat ass. It’s not your fault that I chose to hide in the dirt like a worm for so long half my body bailed out on me. C-c-come on, it’s fine.”

 

That wasn’t emotion making you stutter. Seriously though, it wasn’t. There is a brisk fall breeze and you are wearing a very, very wet sweater and sweatpants that are now plastered straight to your skin. 

For some reason the cold has always gotten to you worse than any of the other trolls, which is why you always wear sweats to stay warm. The only troll you know who likes it hotter than you do is Kanaya because of her creepy, diurnal jade-blood thing going on, and being built for the deserts surrounding the hatching-grounds of the Mother Grubs.

 

Nepeta, on the other hand, doesn’t know that, so you try to give her a smile (“try” being the operative word—you’re not much of a smiler at the best of times.) She smiles back at you, looking a little less wigged out.

 

You’re glad to see she’s feeling better, but you yourself can’t say the same thing. Your legs have woken up all the way by this point, but that just means you can even more acutely feel the cold from your little romp in the stream.

 

Nepeta frowns at you and crawls nearer in a way your hindbrain somehow registers as predatory. She presses her hand against your forehead in such a confusingly tender gesture you swear your heart stops for a moment. You tell yourself that it is just fear of what Equius might do if he saw.

 

Despite her wet clothing and generally being kind of muddy from being in the dirt, her hand is warm. Her eyebrows draw together and she hisses softly. “Holy shit, Karkat. You’re freezing. Aren’t you… oh wait,  are  you even a lowblood? How do you even know how you’re supposed to feel?”

 

You look at her incredulously and she blushes as green as some of the bushes around you. “Oh wow, sorry Karkitty, I didn’t mean to be impawlite, I just…”

 

“Nepeta, first of all, while I detest sounding like Kankri, the term  lowblood  is not a helpful label since I’m off the official Alternian spectrum. Now if you ask,  hey jackass, is your core body temperature higher or lower than a midblood then yes, I normally have a high body temperature. Not sure how high compared to most trolls because I’m not exactly touchy feely, but Sollux and I have gotten into enough fights that he knows how mine feels, and he  says I’m warmer than Aradia…”

 

Nepeta stayed admirably quiet through all of that, but now she is just looking at you like you did something especially odd. “For someone who  detests sounding like your dancestor, you could have said that with way fewer words. Especially when it’s impurrtant! We have to get you out of those clothes and warmed up.”

 

Your brain has to process a few times the fact that Nepeta “cat-girl” Leijon just said that you needed to be naked. Yep. That’s sure what she said. “ABSOLUTELY NOT. I can just walk back to the campsite and get changed there. I’m sure your sweaty moirail brought a fuckload of towels.”

She sets her jaw and glares at you. “But that’s a furty minute walk, which will suck and you’ll end up with a rash down there from walking in wet pants.”

 

Down there meaning… oh. Nepeta is talking about your anatomy again. And said anatomy is not entirely sure what it thinks about being discussed so openly from such an unexpected direction, other than that yeah, a rash anywhere near your nook or sheath would suck. Although now that you think about it she totally had a thing for you before and during SGRUB, didn’t she?

 

The thought of someone who likes you wanting you naked in any circumstances makes your nook twitch and warm despite the fact that it is *not* the time or place for that sort of behavior. Just because you haven’t physically consummated a concupiscent relationship doesn’t mean your body should start reading between the lines of the first perfectly well-meaning friend who talks about it. That is just the wrong sort of pathetic.

Apparently your hesitation in supplying a comeback means  yes you have an excellent point I totally agree with you  in cat-girl-ese, because she continues. “Besides, if you warm up furst I can run back to that clearing we started the game in and pick up my coat and hat! The coat’ll be long enough on you that it should cover up anything impurrtant.”

To your mortification, your “impurrtant parts” have decided that being talked about that many times in a row is definitely an invitation to come play, because this time when your nook twitches, the wetness down there goes from fucking freezing creek-water to something warmer, slicker, and nicer. Your cheeks feel warmer too, and you’re sure she can see at least some of the red showing through your gray skin in a blush.

 

You find your sense of pride scrambling to think of a compelling reason why you should stay cold, uncomfortable, and untouched. “But… but you’re wet too, for fuck’s sake! If I’m in your coat, then what will you wear once we’re dried off!?”

 

Nepeta thinks about that for a moment and the moment you see her little cleft lip twitch up on one side, you can tell she thought of something only she will think is funny. She giggles. “Why, I’ll wear my hat, silly!”

 

You somehow choke on nothing but air as your brain conjures the decidedly un-asked for image of Nepeta tall, gray, and butt naked except for her stupid blue kitty hat. Your nook gets just a little bit slicker and you tell yourself furiously that you and your libido need to have a talk about kinks later, because it is getting entirely too creative.

 

She flops down next to you and pats your back, tilting her head down to look you in the eye. “Karkitty, come on, you’re going to get sick if you don’t get out of that. Here, I’ll help.”

 

“Nepeta, no!” You don’t know what exactly you want to do, but your body doesn’t move to stop her as she hooks her hands perfunctorily under the hem of your sweater and peels it up off your skin with a gross, wet noise.  You yelp and cover your chest (and puckered vestigial venom sack buds) with your arms, and hunch over your lower body, shivering hard.

 

This, however, just makes it easier for the deranged, not-so-little feral to pull your sweatpants off your butt with a slop, so you do your best to scamper away… and end up with your pants halfway down your legs. “See, that’s not so bad, was it?”

 

You turn around and hiss at her, preparing a burning critique, but you realize your mistake when you see her face go far, far greener than it had been as she looks down at your…. Oh hell, you’re wearing wet, white underwear and you’re secreting very visible, very bright red lubricant from your nook.

 

You spin around and hunker down, hugging yourself by the knees so she won’t be able to see. Even though you’re still shivering, you feel hot from your nook up to the tips of your ears, embarrassment and arousal warring for control over your body.

Neither of you say anything. You’re pretty sure there are some actual crickets making that noise that they do in human movies to indicate silence for some reason.

There is the sound of Nepeta standing up and padding over to you, and then the flump of her sitting down in the dirt directly beside you again. You refuse to look at her.

She clears her throat like you do when you’re trying to think of an acceptable way of apologizing for some dumbass thing you did. She damn well better apologize, how DARE she just…

You turn to look at her, trying to school your expression into something as haughty as possible. Her eyes are closed and so she can’t appreciate your display when she blurts out, “Karkitty, you’re really pretty and you shouldn’t feel bad!”

...That wasn’t what you were expecting, and your bloodpusher and nook are fluttering in very confusing, very different ways. You can’t think of anything to say, so you fall back on the old standard of “Uh.”

Her eyes are still squeezed shut, flushing green against gray skin as she continues. “You really need to warm up though so purrlease let me help.”

And then she fucking strips off her t-shirt to reveal a sports bra just as white and wet as your underwear, showing off small venom sacks with perky little buds pressing against the now-sheer fabric. Other than that the only thing you really can notice is that she’s just as ripped as her moirail-- maybe not as much around the biceps and neck, but her stomach is rock-solid and she looks like a military pinup something fierce.

Your hormones are pointing out that if someone that fit might be interested in sharing material with yours, you should really consider moving closer to her. The first thing your romcom-infused brain sends to your lips is. “You too.”

Her eyes snap open and she looks heartbreakingly hopeful.

You stutter, looking for a follow up. “I mean, you’re pretty too? So don’t feel bad? Let’s warm you up too? I don’t fucking…”

Giving up on words for the time being, you lean over to her and cautiously tug down on the waist of her wet pants. She’s blushing even harder and opens her mouth in a little grin. “So, you meow, the best way to warm up is cuddling skin to skin, right?”

Yep that was definitely what she was thinking, apparently. At least she saved you from uttering that line featured in so much ‘fucking-in-the-great-outdoors’ porn. Rolling your eyes, you tug at her pants harder. “Let’s just fuck already and quit beating off around the bush. Beating around the bush. Fuck, whatever.”

And so you do.

***

Nepeta makes short order of stripping out of her soggy clothes and underthings, and you hastily squirm out of your own, remembering belatedly that taking off your shoes would help the endeavor immensely. It may be cold as shit, but it feels nice to not have nasty wet fabric clinging to every part of you.

Once you’re both properly divested she pulls you down to the grass and flips you onto your back, looking back and forth between your face and well… what you have going on down there. She giggles, meeting your eyes, and trails a bare hand down your stomach, making you squirm. “Wow, Karkitty, are you really  sure you want to do this?”

Your thin bulge takes the opportunity to peek out of your sheath and nudges at her hand, resting against her tantalizing, foreign,  not yours skin. In response, your nook pulses and a second later you recognize your own musky scent that she must be able to smell too.

Hissing, you arch up into her hand. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Leijon, come  on! ”

She smiles at you and tilts her head coyly. “Come on and what, Karkat?”

Her hand moves upward to trail lightly over the sensitive skin of your lower belly, away from your bulge and nowhere close to your nook. You grit your teeth and give her a disapproving glare. “I am actually cold you know, so if you’re going to pull that shit at least get closer so I don’t freeze my bits off.”

Nepeta snickers and flops on top of you, covering you with troll and nuzzling at one of your ears. “Sorry, I furgot what I was doing for a minute. Let’s see how you’re doing.”

And just like that, you’re cuddle buddy takes one of her large, calloused hands and puts it flat and warm over your nook. You make a sound that might be a distant, embarrassing relative of “gneep!” but you think being fondled for the first time gives you a pretty damn good excuse.

Once your senses fully catch up to this exciting new reality, you remember to swat at her hand. “For fuck’s sake, give a guy some warning before you stick your appendages on my--”

Taking her other hand and putting it to your forehead again, she frowns a little, which does not jive with the mood you were getting from her having a hand on your until-quite-recently private parts. You don’t have the wherewithal to deal with this level of oddity, so you do your best to headbutt her in an attempt to break her out of her sudden bout of inscrutable behavior.

She pushes your forehead gently but firmly back down so your head is pinned against the ground, your neck visible and vulnerable. A bit of panic sets in as your body tells you that friend or no, Nepeta could be dangerous and you are smothered beneath her, trapped and bare. You try to shake her hand off your head but are distracted by her other hand leaving your nook and it feels cold and even more naked than before. You can’t help another shiver.

She smooths a thumb over your hip bone and you relax a bit, your body again receiving the message that it is time to mate, not time to run. The simple touch makes you giddy but is also a reminder of how… animal you are. 

She looks you in the eye, bolder than the shy glances you are used to from her before today, and it makes her look much older than she is. That is, until she opens her mouth. “I was just comparing your core and external tempurratures.”

You rather doubt that was her sole intent. “Uh huh. So, Docterrorist Leijon of the embarrassing porn tropes, are you going to tell me your diagnosis?”

She pats your head playfully (you would mind more, but it’s warm so you can’t bring yourself to complain.) “You, Karkat Vantas, are way too cold to be healthy as a cute little warmblood and would benefit grrreatly from more intense rehabilitation and exercise. Starting with this!”

It’s not that you weren’t expecting it, but the little pap she gives your nook makes you jerk in surprise, pushing against her weight, feeling firm abs more acutely against your softer belly. Still though, if you didn’t already have a palm on your face you would totally face palm right about now. “Are we really going to roll play this whole thing out, seriously.”

She paps you down there again, quickly but firmly, and your breath hitches. You become acutely aware that you’re so close to her that she gets a front row seat to every little tell you let slip.

The smug little bitch… or queen, whatever, raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one who brought it up, for the recpurred, patient Vantas.”

Before you can inform her that no you did not, she started actually doing it first, she leans forward just enough to kiss you. Fuck yes. Oh yes, this is a development you can approve of.

Her lips are warmer than yours and a little chapped as she presses gently down, licking at you a little, and you wonder idly if this is what it would feel like for a highblood to kiss someone lower on the spectrum. The thought is quickly gone though, as you focus on the sensation of a warm tongue darting into your mouth and you hesitantly try to mimic her movements.

It feels weird to just lie there so you take your arms, previously held awkwardly beside you, and wrap them gently around her shoulders, curling your fingers in to keep them warm and protected from the cool air that exists outside of your safe, troll-made cocoon of warmth.

At some point your eyes must have have closed, because after a while of comfortably kissing, Nepeta starts kneading gently at your nook. It feels much more comfortable now that you’re used to it and the pleasure it sends through you is less of a shock, and more of a gentle, bubbling wave of warmth travelling up your spine.Yeah, you’re starting to heat up quite nicely now. 

Nepeta pulls away from the kiss and gives you a questioning look, starting to push more firmly down there. “Is this ok?”

It takes you a second to find the part of your brain that makes word sounds but eventually you manage it. “Yeah, it’s all right…”

The flat of one of her fingertips presses between your lips into the actual opening of your nook, spreading it open, and the tip of your bulge takes that as invitation to join the party, peeking out of its sheath. Your voice is higher this time as you amend your statement. “Ffffuck!”

She giggles, pleased with herself. “Are you feeling good enough for me to get a closer look?”

The logical part of your brain tells you that you will lose your full-body contact and thus a lot of your recently-received warmth if she does that. The more persuasive part of your brain, however, is pointing out that that is the hottest suggestion you have ever been presented with, so you  give her a frantic nod.

As she shuffles herself farther down your body you aren’t sure if you’re supposed to lean up and see what’s going on or stay put, so it’s a relief when she tells you what to do. “Just stay there Karkitty, the angle is better this way.”

Your chest is cold without her there, but then she’s pulling your legs up and apart and you’re distracted by, instinctively trying to close them and protect yourself. She doesn’t let you, of course, and instead widens them effortlessly, bracing them with her hands and massaging at the softness of your thighs while she’s at it.

In an effort to sound a little more in-control, you bite out, “So how’s that angle for you?”

“Hmmmm, let’s see!” Not letting go of your legs, Nepeta blows a stream of breath directly against the lips of your parted nook, and you yelp. She laughs. “Looking purretty good down here to me. And to your bulge too, by the looks of it.”

You’ve been pretty distracted by all the attention being paid to your nook, but you realize that yeah, you can feel cool air along most of your bulge so it must be all the way out. Whatever, it can deal. “Yeah, yeah, good to hear it, now are you just going to admire the view all day or get to the--”

She gets to the good part. Letting go of a leg, she runs a knuckle against your slit. It’s not much, not really, but even that much gets far enough into you to press against the slick, soft flesh and you can feel the wetness from earlier quickly lubricating the calloused joint until it slides in and out, up and down easily.

Shifting on the ground, you try and help her out by widening your legs, totally accidentally pushing your hips up against her hand. She gets the message (the one you totally weren’t just sending) and gently rubs her finger knuckles on that hand up and down the length of your nook. Soon your nook’s natural lubricant takes care of those too, hoping that maybe they’ll start being a bulge if it tries hard enough.

Groaning, you push up against her hand again, trying to get more contact, dignity be damned; you’re already spread open buck naked in the middle of the forest. 

She places her other hand firmly against your hip, pinning you to the ground. “Be patient, Karkitty.”

Your face flushes at her tone, but you keep yourself from bucking and take deep breaths. She hums appreciatively and presses her knuckles into you more firmly. “There you go.”

Apparently you’ve done well enough that she removes the hand that was on your hip and places it to one side of your nook, thumbing open the lips on that side, then removing her other hand from (knuckling? lol) your slit to do the same thing on the other side. The air that meets the exposed flesh is cooler than you’d like, but she brings in her face (you can feel her soft hair and ears brushing against the inside of your thighs) and breathes warm air onto you. It’s weird, but it gives you a couple seconds to relax and when she starts rubbing her thumbs in circles against your lips you feel softer and warmer, heat building in your stomach as well.

You feel Nepeta shift forward a bit so the tip of her nose is just barely touching your exposed nook and you can’t keep yourself from widening your legs just a bit more in anticipation. In reward she gently dips the tip of her soft, wet tongue inside you, moving it slowly up and down.

Trying to form words you mostly end up with a pathetic series of chirps and purrs, but you don’t even know what you’d really be saying, so you let it go. You can feel her purring against you as well and on top of feeling  really nice it is gratifying to know she’s enjoying herself as well. You’ll have to think of a way to thank her… of course with the way things are going that “thanks” will likely be an obvious progression from what’s going on between your legs right now.

Her licking speeds up and becomes more forceful, the pleasure making you dig your claws into the dirt in an effort to hold on to  something . You know from the way she’s able to get deeper inside you down there you must be pretty loose, but you’re starting to feel things tense up and chirp louder, urgently.

She pulls back, leaving you cold and wet. “Are you ready, Karkitty?”

You know you should know what she’s talking about but you’re confused by the sudden lack of sensation and inarticulate from all the hormones running through your system, so you let out a whine and pat at her head, trying to get her to continue.

There’s some scuffling and you feel her weight on your torso again. She scoots up until she can see you (you can feel some of your lubrication against your bulge and her stomach, unf.) Her pupils are blown wide, nearly round like a human’s and covering most of her still grayish-green irises.

Softly, she kisses you on the nose. “Alternia to Karkat? Do you want to do more?” To demonstrate just what she means, she ruts up against your leg, close to where your thigh meets your hip, and you feel what is definitely a bulge poking you. Oh.  That.

Automatically your legs try to widen even further and you let out a chirp, but she waits a few seconds. That gives you time to actually think about it and yeah, you do actually want it. You meet her gaze and nod as intelligently as you can.

Her smile is bright and mischievous as she gives you a wink. “Well, if you insist.”

She positions herself above you, making some space between your bodies as she holds her bulge to get it into position, resting in the gap left between your now very plump nook flaps. It’s kind of nerve wracking, having it right there but not inside you, and you can’t help trying to shy away just a little bit, but she gives you a quelling look so you stay put.

Finally satisfied with whatever cat-girl pre-requisites that must be met before fucking someone, Nepeta pushes in. It feels awkward and foreign at first, just a little bit cooler than the inside of your nook, but you’re wet enough that her tapered bulge with that strange texture slips most of the way inside you easily, just a wide knob at its base staying outside.

You feel full but not as much as you’d thought, so you let out a breath you hadn’t noticed you’d been holding and relax. She stays still, breathing harshly above you, and uses a finger to spread some of your lubrication around where your nook is held open against the base knob of her bulge.

It feels fucking awesome but intellectually it’s also a little scary that someone else is literally inside your body right now. You rock back against her, trying to get some more friction and slide a bit farther onto her bulge. She lets go of her bulge and moves to support herself, bracing her hands on your shoulders.  Rocking, she shushes you (for some reason) as your hips move in tandem.

Her eyes are looking intently into yours, but you can’t figure out what she could possibly be thinking over when she’s bulge deep inside you. She darts a quick glance down to where your bodies meet and grunts as she FUCKING PUSHES HER BULGE all the way in.

You cry out in surprise and your vision cuts out, tears prickling at your eyes. Grabbing at her arms and whining in your throat, you try to push out the intrusion, to get away from it. Your stretched walls push and tense, but it doesn’t move. It’s not pounding into you either though. 

Given a chance to catch your breath you manage to choke out a few words. “Nepeta! The fu--”

Ok, two and a half words. She chooses that moment to move again and you’re gasping, clawing at her back.

Again she shushes you. “It’s fine, Karkat, look you’ve already got me all the way in.”

You growl at her excessively pale tone but realize that she’s right. It stung on the way in and you feel too stretched out just inside your entrance, but behind the knob (the part of you that has spent time on the darker side of the internet tells you it’s actually a knot) she is much thinner, and it’s easier to keep her in than to push her out. You release out a breath and your muscles give up, letting her have that space inside you.

Still, you whine reproachfully and open your eyes to glare at her. Her face is deeply green and her eyes are focusing on you, intently watching your reactions whenever she moves. You realize that yes, this is the girl that has had the hots for you for who knows how long, and you feel safe in the thought that she does  not want to mess this up after pining for so long.

Trying to relax yourself, you close your eyes slide your hands up and down her back, feeling the raised scars against the smooth muscles of her shoulders. She moves more now, not thrusting so much as varying the angle of her bulge inside you, pressing firmly to touch the deeper areas of your nook with her tip.

Now THAT feels nice. You bite your lip to keep in another chirp and press down with your walls appreciatively. She gets the hint and keeps up the pattern, audibly purring, occasionally interrupted by stuttered breathing when you clench down on her.

After a while it becomes easy, and even though you are very aware you are very full and can’t push her out, it doesn’t bother you either.

You start getting the sneaking suspicion that you actually ARE getting fuller down there and shift experimentally. Yeah, you definitely can’t move as much down there anymore and her texture is… more raised, maybe? Pushing yourself slightly farther onto her, you feel the pressure of her knot on your entrance lessen and feel her shaft prickle sharply against you… oh shit

Apparently she has the variety of bulge that not only gets bigger when it finds itself inside a mate, but she has fucking  barbs,  oh wow that is normally so not your kink. But now, with her inside you and knotted in deep, you’re trapped until Nepeta, or more accurately Nepeta’s anatomy, lets you and WHY is that so hot. You shift your legs on either side of her trying to figure if it feels better with or without the spines pricking at you, but you can’t figure it out.

Nepeta herself has no such problem and starts shallowly thrusting into and out of you, her spines poking at your delicate inner flesh, not  quite tearing you, put definitely getting through the first layer or so of skin. It almost hurts, but it also feels like she’s scratching you in all the right places where you were  meant to be scratched. What troll even has spines down there, outside of some of the weirder smut you’ve read, it’s like being gently fucked by a drone. Ok THAT should definitely not be hot, why does she have them, and why does it feels amazing.

You helplessly trill out a mating call intended ancestrally to alert nearby drones of an impending slurry contribution. There are no drones here, of course, but your body is as confused as it’s ever been, caught between thinking it’s being fucked (which it is) and thinking its slurry is being harvested.

It’s hard to focus on much other than very dangerous-feeling spines in your internal mating chamber, but before you know it your belly is tensing up and you wail, your inner walls pushed too hard around her spines and jumping back when your nervous system gets the message that that is a very bad idea. You want to just  come already, but you can’t without risking injury.

You hiss in discomfort and scratch at your partner’s back insistently, trying to calm your body down from almost-but-not-quite climaxing.

Nepeta’s responds, her voice rough and sounding as desperate as you feel. “Just give me a minute and mew’ll have your turn.”

If you were in a more coherent, verbal frame of mind, you might have complained about this crass unfairness, but presently you don’t have the wherewithal to so much as hold it against her. Thankfully though, you manage to relax your nook enough that she can actually move, dragging her barbs along you, tantalyzingly on the edge of painful and perfect. Frustrated with the whole thing, you open your eyes to see hers closed, her eyebrows drawn in concentration, and you make a decision.

Your brilliant decision is to bite her hard on the ear, making her yelp and her spines jerk painfully inside you, setting her off an a series of quick thrusts that rake your insides deeper and harder than ever before and she wails, the sound travelling directly into your skull through her ear.

Before you can appreciate what just happened, you feel suddenly wetter and cool inside, getting fuller as a few sharp flicks of her spines help her pump out what is definitely her genetic material, held in place by her knot. A final, hard flick of her spines makes you light up and bear down, coming, deeply glad that that was the last hurrah for her spines as you spasm around her diminishing bulge inside you. Since your own bulge got little to no attention during this whole endeavor, your seedflap releases your material into your nook instead, pulsing mutant-hot liquid into your nook to join her slightly cooler contribution. After a few pulses of your own, you start feeling way too full down there, so you let go of Nepeta’s ear and push at her shoulders, gasping.

Her shaft and knot finally deflate enough that she can pull out, making an audible noise as her remaining girth pops out of your entrance. Your nook snaps shut, instinctively trying to keep all of the combined slurry inside you, hoping for a drone to come collect it, but it’s too much and Nepeta’s spines from earlier has made your instincts confused, so you push her off and scramble to your hands and knees to relieve yourself. If you had any dignity left you would be embarrassed to have someone see you gush slurry onto the ground, but as it is it just feels like the greatest relief, almost better than actually coming.

At some point Nepeta must have moved, because she’s kneeling next to you rubbing her hand against your back as you expel everything. Soon you’re emptied out, and you try to find some actual words to express your swirl of feelings.

She manages to form words first. “You’re wet again, mew know.”

You laugh giddily, unable to make yourself concerned with anything right about now, not even being splattered with slurry. You lie down and roll onto your back to look up at her. Her smile is wide and ecstatic, lighting you up and making you want to kiss her again. 

You roll your eyes theatrically and you respond. “Yeah well, so are  mew , so get down here and lets take care of it.”

She slides down beside you and drags her tongue over her lips. “I have some ideas, if you’re interested. Are you at least feeling warmer now, Karcub?”

You chuckle hoarsely and cuddle closer to her. “Hell yeah. Never been warmer.”

She adds, “Or hotter.”

You weakly slap at her back. “Yeah yeah, or that. So are you going to put that tongue to use or are you going to let me dry off on my own?”

Quietly, she leans down to lick your ear and whispers. “That depends, I suppose, Can we do that again sometime, maybe?”

That ear and pretty much the entire rest of you heat up again. “You better believe we’re doing that again. Soon. Now hush and lets get each other looking like maybe we weren’t just debasing ourselves in the woods.”

Neither of you point out that you’re still going to have to run back through the trees naked as the night you pupated. You put your mouths to much better use.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't get all the kinks you asked for in the prompt, but I hope you liked it! It was super fun to work on :)
> 
> Edit: SORRY I WAS WRONG ABOUT WHEN IT WENT LIVE and it was released without the final polishes, I feel like such an ass. I put them in and it's so much better now, I promise ;_;


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